There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
