So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
