so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
