his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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