i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Vodka?
Forever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
