Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
