Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
