I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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