don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
