Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
