he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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