Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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