no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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