just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
