I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
false alarm, still single
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
