Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize