She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
