Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize