I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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