At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
