Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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