dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
