You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
