oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
