I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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