just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
