I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize