I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
