She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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