If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
