school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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