You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
