shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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