i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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