First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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