I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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