whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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