this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
