i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
