Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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