It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
