OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize