I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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