At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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