Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
