I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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