fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
