but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He better not be in your backpack
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
