i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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