i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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