i permit you to call me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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