Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize