I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
