she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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