he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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