Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
