Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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