Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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