remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
