i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
