Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
