Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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